We took the “family” boat out for the first time this summer on a Sunday. We had not been swimming in our local lake yet because the water temperature had been a little too chilly. The kids love the lake. They wear their life vests but we one of us is always in the water with them. Jason asked me if I was going to be the “sacrificial lamb”, you know, testing the water. Of course I’m always the first one in the water.
I jumped right in, per the kids’ request. Lillian climbed down after me. Levi was still on the boat, watching us. He looked at me and asked, seriously, “Mommy, was it okay being the exorcist sheep?”
Yeah, I lost it. Good thing I was wearing a vest too. I told him it was sacrificial lamb while Jason and I had a good laugh.
Now, in his defense, they aren’t even five and he has not really heard the word sacrificial. And I can guarantee you he has not heard the word exorcist via Bible class or movie trivia. So how did he come up with such a big word, that was actually a word?
Never use baby talk
From the beginning, we spoke to them with real words. Sure I used the sing-song voice, especially when I was changing a dirty diaper and letting them know how much they stunk. But I always used regular vocabulary. They did not understand most of what I said but they loved my voice. Jason would sit with them in a recliner and talk to them about the dogs or hunting or how was their day. They would coo and react with different expressions, not always appropriate, but they were responding to us. And that’s how communication starts with kids.
And when they start talking, it can be a riot. Levi started first with the same word for ball, balloon, “boo” and bottle. “Melmo” was Elmo’s new name. Then both started in with ball, up and baby. Often times we could not understand what you were saying, which led to confusion and frustration on both sides. But the more we practiced, the more we talked, the more we read, the better it got and the more words you learned.
When Levi first started talking, he called our back porch a “forch”. We were always giving him the correct word. And he reminded me of Data on The Goonies. “Can we go out on the forch?” “Levi, it’s Porch.” “Right, porch.” Like geez mommy, that’s what I said.
And Levi has always said things his own way, as has Lillian. For the longest time she called him “Wivey”. It’s now a nickname but we didn’t dare use it until she got his name correctly. We corrected her every chance we got. One correction in particular showed her tenacity and determination to do Lillian her own way. Jason was sitting in a chair across the room from her when he corrected her He leaned forward and said Levi, putting emphasis on the order of the syllables. She looked him dead in the eye, leaned forward and said “Wivey”, with as much emphasis.
Seriously…
A few weeks ago, Lillian was in the bath. I make them do most of their washing but I always wash their backs for them. She turns, looks at me and thoughtfully says, “When I get older, I will wash your back. Because I am never going to leave this house.” While the sentiment was sweet, I told her I was putting that in black in white to show her in a out ten years.
To balance the sappy, here’s Levi’s bath story. He was fighting me about washing his hair. He had been rubbing the shampoo between his hands for almost a minute instead of washing his hair like I asked. “I don’t do this to daddy,” he says. I asked him what he meant. He said, “Not listen. I don’t know why I do this to you. It’s sort of weird.” I had to chuckle at this, but it turned into a discussion about why he thinks he doesn’t always listen to me. That being said, he often does a great job for me, washing himself and his hair.
Giving your children access to big words leads to big conversations.
Big words, big conversations
Talking to your children like adults, or rather using the real words versus “dumbing it down”, has a down side. You often have insane conversations with your kids when they’re just two. Levi has always asked the most amazing questions. Like at dinner, last night, he asked, “Why is it called pizza?” I was a little shocked. I told him I didn’t know. He accepted that answer, fortunately. I need Alexa so she can answer all these questions. But Jason also told him he needs to get on the learning-to-read train so he can read the books for the answers.
They often learn from their language mistakes. The second time we took out the family boat, only two days later, Levi asked me if I was okay with being the “secretary lamb”. I laughed and told him he was getting closer. And Lillian didn’t want to be left out. She called Levi an “exorcist hippopotamus”. I mean really? Where do they come up with this stuff.
And then there are the really deep conversations about the circle of life, death, taking care of pets. We had this discussion on the way to school, this morning. And most people shy away from these talks. I did for a time, especially with some of the Disney movies we have watched (more on this in my next post). But I suppose it is better to prepare their minds. The heart will be harder to deal with when the time comes. And if they ask, I’m not going to hide anything from them. Trust me, I didn’t get gory about it. We discussed hawks eating snakes, snakes eating frogs, frogs eating bugs, bugs eating decaying animals. Crazy, right? But they accepted the conversation and were not upset.
It’s all too fast anyway
We always say children grow so quickly. Well, they are a products of their environment. If you want to keep them your babies forever, then treat them like babies. But if you open their minds to the world, within reason, they will grow up to be more balanced people. The more information they have, the more language they own, the better decisions they will make. The more informed they will stay because they ask all the questions.
At some point, their desire for knowledge will pass your knowledge base. The more you talk to them, the more they will want to know. And you either have to start your research or hope your Google fingers can keep up.
